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Chuck’s Ultimate Gym T-Shirt

Chuck Norris is the greatest martial artist, action star, actor, and human to ever walk the face of the Earth. In fact no one that has ever lived can compare to the sheer awesomeness and coolness that is Chuck Norris.

Here are few well known facts about the greatest human ever:

1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

5. Chuck Norris defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Chuck Norris loves you.

6. Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

7. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

8. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.

9. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

10. Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.

11. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

12. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.

13. Chuck Norris invented cancer because he was tired of killing people

14. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

15. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

16. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

17. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

18. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

19.When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.

20. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Watch this video for more Chuck Norris Facts:

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34 Thoughts on “Chuck’s Ultimate Gym T-Shirt

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  3. beastlyinstr on November 7, 2009 at 4:20 am said:

    chuck norris doesnt get wet while swiming…….water gets chuck norris………think about it…..

  4. beastlyinstr on November 7, 2009 at 4:21 am said:

    chuck norris can ride a wheelie on a unicycle……think about tht 1

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  9. annonomys on August 31, 2010 at 2:07 pm said:

    If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down!!!

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  30. Chuck Norris can’t wear a condom, there is no protcotien from Chuck Norris.94% of women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were really fat and ugly.Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris. Then he roundhouse kicked them for running away.70% of most people’s body weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris’ body weight is dick.Chuck Norris uses a live rattlesnake for a condom.All women lost there virginity to Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.

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